A few days ago my second cousin Jennifer (my favorite second cousin) and her two children Madison and Katie, came up to visit with us for the afternoon. We had plans to go out to the farm for some horseback riding. As we were in the process of saddling up Tuffy, Jennifer and I were talking about parenting. She offered up to me some of the best advice I think I could have heard at this point in my parenting journey. It was actually some advice handed down to her from a friend of hers (who has ten children, the oldest being in college on scholarship at Georgia Tech and the youngest a three year old. Did I mention she home schools them all?). Jennifer had been having a bad day. Her house was a mess and she was burdened by the guilt of motherhood (I’m not spending enough time with them...etc, etc, etc !) and her friend said to her…
“Jennifer, give in to motherhood. It is messy, unorganized, expensive…and it is fleeting.”
As Jennifer said these words, I felt a weight lifted from my heart and mind. All of the sudden, I did not feel the pressure of forcing my daughter to act like a well mannered two year old (Hah! Is there such a thing?), and I felt free! “It’s unorganized” she said. "It’s not perfect…” "you don’t have to be perfect” is what I heard and suddenly I felt free as a lark. We had a great day that afternoon and these words rang in my heart for quite some time. (In fact they are still there now!)
(Here is a picture of Jennifer holding my sweet baby and her oldest daughter Madison.)
I think in many things, I feel the pressure of trying to orchestrate events so that everything is perfect and having two little ones seriously complicates this effort which has led to quite some frustration on my part.
For the last two months, my prayer to The Lord has been for closeness to Him and freedom from my flesh. And all the while, the message I have been hearing from The Lord is…
“Lesli run in the rain!” “Let go, and let Me handle this”
This is hard to hear when I want to be excellent in so many things. My desire for perfection drives me to cling tightly to all I have, trying desperately to force things to be the way “I think” would be best. In the process, I choke out the peace of God. And I choke out the joy of enjoying my daughter (and others) for who she is.
Too often, because of the pressure I feel to impress those around me, I battle with Emily, expecting her to be something she is not. The result is toddler frustration and Mommy Sanity Endangerment. But when I let go, and let her get muddy, play in the water and simply be two, there is joy in my heart.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in guidance and discipline (Proverbs 22:15), but I also believe in the beauty of childhood (Matthew 18:3-4)!
(Here is Gi Gi holding baby Christian while we were all busy riding)
As we rode horses this day, I let Emily ride for the first time with her Papa. She had a great time. We all did. Seeing the joy in her as she rode the horse, gave everyone a joy. A child’s happiness is contagious! I let go of the fear that something might happen to her, I let go of the worry that someone might not agree with her riding so young, and I trusted in a peace that God’s Spirit was giving me.
Matthew 16: 25-26
“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”
Luke 8:14-15
“Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life and bring forth no fruit to maturity. But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who having heard the Word with a noble and good heart keep it and bear fruit with patience.”
Father please help me to trust You with every detail. Help me to release to You every moment, trusting in Your Sovereignty. Be my Guide Lord, and Teach me to humbly obey Your still small voice. Let me not seek the glory of man, but let me seek Your Glory! (Galatians 1:10).
Now I am finding myself with a different response to Gods Presence in my heart. It used to be as He said to me…
“Lesli, I want you to run in the rain”
I said…
“Maybe God. I might let go, but really…I don’t want to get my hair wet, and I need to be back home by 5:15 p.m. sharp to get dinner ready”
Now I am tempted to say…
“Oh Father God, I want to run in the rain! Do You think I could wear a pair of funny glasses and a flowing skirt while I am at it?”
Psalm 95:6,7
“Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture, And the sheep of His hand.”
Let us put our lives in His hands. It will be a much more peaceful Journey!
Check out this video of Emily's first ride!
